Paying attention

I haven't actually changed anything yet, just trying to make myself more aware of why & when I eat. For example, yesterday afternoon I was headed to the hospital to visit a family member. It's roughly an hour drive, and I was tired, so tired in fact I caught myself drifting into the next lane on the highway! Fortunately, I didn't cross over the lane marking because there was a car in the next lane and I would have for sure sideswiped them if I didn't come out of my stupor in time. Scary! There was a McDonalds up ahead, so I got off the exit and went into McD's. For whatever reason, I came out with not just the 42oz diet coke to "wake me up", but also a hot fudge sundae. I wasn't hungry, but I think it was comfort food because I was a little shook up.

On the way home from the hospital, I was a little hungry. The family member has cancer (just diagnosed) and naturally I was upset. I was stopping at Walgreens for some sale items, and their Christmas stuff was 75% off. I came away with two chocolate eggs for 12c each. That's not huge, and I was proud that I controlled the purchase to just a snack for the way home and not an entire box of candy. But, could I have survived without it? Sure. I still had the diet coke left from the trip and I'm sure I would have arrived home without starving. Again, I think it was comfort food.

I came home and fixed a frozen pizza for hubby & me, one of those Red Baron frozen ones to which we add cheese. One piece, two pieces, three pieces, four pieces later I was done. Four pieces of pizza! Holy cow! Even hubby only ate two, but that's because he wasn't feeling good. Usually each of us eats four. Why? Who knows, just habit I guess.

This morning for breakfast I had my crystal light drink, cereal with banana & milk, and then a pbj sandwich. (Those are also my downfall). Now, I realize that's a pretty good sized breakfast, and I could certainly cut out the sandwich, or have just a half, or have it later for a snack. But, was that it?! No, within an hour, I opened the fridge to get a drink, and saw the leftover two slices of pizza. I sure wasn't hungry anymore, but I grabbed one and scarfed it down anyhow. See, no control whatsoever!

These are the behaviors I need to change, and I'm brainstorming ways to prevent this going forward. I've been working from home for the past several years, but will not have that job after the 1st. I think that might actually help me in the food department. First, we have to cut down our grocery bill. Second, it's just too easy to wander back & forth from the desk to the kitchen all day long. I'll be working some outside the house, and I will definitely NOT eat this much in front of other people. Plus, not being tied to a desk when I am home could be a plus. I have so many other projects to do that involve being up and moving around the house.

Wow, this sure is a long entry. I guess I have been paying a lot of attention.