Gaining Control Over Eating

Time flies when you're having fun!

2009-09-13T09:49:00.002-05:00

I haven't been here in awhile to update anything. It just seems like the time flies by before you know it. I finished my weight loss challenge at work...well, more appropirately, IT finished, but I didn't. My goal was to lose 15 pounds. I lost as much as 13.something, but the end result was just losing 10.2. Not great, but not bad either.

My next motivation is vacation. It's nowhere exotic or anything, just that I'll be seeing some old friends. I'd like to finish that 15 pound weight loss for that. My #1 enemy is stress, and I know it. Money is so tight it squeaks, but I can't bring myself to stop certain habits that waste money. I mean, I do bring lunch to work every day, and I pack healthy snacks. But then I just have gotten into the bad habit of wanting 3 Musketeers bar - EVERY DAY! It wastes 65 cents each time. So, 65 cents x 5 days a week x 4 weeks a month = $13 wasted each month. How silly of me! Occasionally I can fight it off, but I know what I really should do is buy a package of minis at the store, and pack a few each day to take with me. The snacking would be smaller and the cost would be lower. I'm just afraid that if I had them at home, I'd hit up the bag at night and wouldn't limit myself to just 1 or 2.

Well, that's my brief update. I will TRY to do better. As mom always said, "all you can do is try your best."

Hanging in there

2009-07-19T14:48:00.002-05:00

I haven't lost any weight in the past week or so, but (as of Friday) hadn't gained any more either. My dieting kind of took a hiatus last week, so I'm just happy it stayed the same.

It's a gorgeous day out. I just finished hours of house cleaning, so I'm headed out to enjoy the day!

Another week, another pound gone.

2009-07-10T23:33:00.002-05:00

This is just great news for me, and surprising since I had a hard time staying on track this week. Just imagine how much better it might have been if I'd really focused my attention on controlling my eating habits! Especially since I worked my butt off ever since last weekend. (Not literally, of course, it's still there....believe me!) I did a lot of walking, gardening, lawn mowing, and lifting, and tried to do something every day.

I mentioned before that I'm doing the President's Challenge to get 30 minutes of exercise (minimum) 5 days a week for 6 of 8 weeks. I was just on the website to enter all my activity for the week. I'll have completed my 8 weeks in 2 more weeks, and in order to achieve the goal, I can't miss doing some form of exercise for 5 days each week. It's because I already missed hitting the goal on 2 weeks. I don't feel like a slacker, but I must have goofed off more than 2 days each of those weeks. I don't remember not doing something, so that's why it is so important to write it down. This applies whether you're trying to lose weight, track exercise, log your spending, or whatever. It's so easy to think you'll remember and then you don't.

Well, enjoy your weekend, whatever you're doing. It's going to be a hot one here, but I've been making good progress weeding our vege garden, so I'm sure I'll be out there over the next 2 days again. It might be early in the morning or later in the evening just so I don't overdo it, but I'll be there. It almost looks like a garden again!

3-day weekend coming up for me

2009-07-03T08:10:00.002-05:00

After all my plans for last weekend, most didn't materialize since I ended up helping hubby with farm equipment problems. So, I have ALL the same plans for this weekend, with an extra day to accomplish them. We'll see how it goes.

I'm down another pound, wonder of wonders. But I need to be careful. I've been a little lax these past few days, and giving into cravings, mostly at night. We had a few crises - up one night late with the vet stitching up a horse that got cut very deep. A lot of times in the summer, we don't eat until after dark, but this time it was midnight. Needless to say, I cooked something quick and easy, but it sure wasn't healthy....hotdogs. A few other nights, I had dessert after dinner, which is a habit I've been trying to break, but when I get stressed out I just eat out of habit.

So...my plan for this weekend is to try to THINK before eating. I'm not writing down the calories for each meal, but maybe if I focus more on good healthy eating I can break a few of the habits that have started to creep back. We go to a cookout tomorrow night, and I'm going to try my best to keep under control then too. I think after this weekend I'll start writing down the calorie count again and tallying for the day. The pattern I've seen is that when I write it down, it stays somewhere between 1400 and 1600. When I don't, and do a mental tally at the end of the day, I can remember 1600-1700 calories but am never sure what I might have forgotten. The magic scale seems to know all though!

Is it HOT enough for you?!?!

2009-06-27T11:13:00.002-05:00

My goodness, but it is HOT out! And, to add insult to injury, it's very humid too. This has been going on all week, and I think we have several more days of it in store. The good news is that my squash, cucumbers, cantaloupe, and other vine-y type plants are doing good with this weather. My other plants look a little wilted. I didn't get to water for the past 2 nights, so maybe I'll do it this evening after it cools off. Or, if I can stand it, I might carry jugs of water to them and just water around the bases during the day. That's a lot of carrying, but it counts as exercise, so I just might give it a try. While I dislike the carrying, it beats watering everywhere and giving the weed water too.

I've gotten the scale to nudge down a little bit more, to where it actually shows pounds lost on the sidebar. Yippee! I hope to see some improvement after this weekend too. I have a TON of things to do outside in the garden & yard. The other day while doing some chores, I spotted something floral that was near the back toward the woods. It looked like a big burst of cream color, so I investigated. It's some type of bush with these cream color clumps of blossoms that are 4 or 5 inches across. The flowers smelled wonderful! I noticed yesterday the blossoms have passed by, but I am definitely considering relocating it closer to the house.

Then, there is the forsythia that needs to be trimmed. This has been on my list for weeks. There are two of them that have not been trimmed in....maybe forever. I attacked one of them back at the beginning of the month, and left a lot of bare branches with just some foliage at the top. The first benefit after doing that was I can actually mow around the thing with our riding mower. Before, I had to use the push mower and go all around it and push the mower in underneath it as far as possible, over & over to keep things looking semi-neat. Now, I just noticed yesterday that the bare branches are all sprouting leaves, which of course I knew they would. As soon as I can hack away at that 2nd bush, I'll do it. It's bigger and wilder than the 1st, but it will look so darn much better!

Then, there is the lawn that needs its weekly mowing. That takes a good solid 3 hours, even if I don't trim anywhere with the push mower.

I guess I'd better quit goofing off inside where the A/C is and get out there and SWEAT!!

Avoiding temptation

2009-06-18T22:26:00.002-05:00

I've gotten back on track again, and I'm happy to say that having a scale I can weigh-in on at work really helps out. I'm trying not to overdo it but I weighed 2 days ago and found I'd gained about 2 pounds with my weekend binge. I started looking back over what I was eating when I lost a few pounds, and recycled the menu. Yesterday I was back down a bit, and then I weighed first thing after I got to work this morning, and it had nudged down a little more.

That made it MUCH easier to resist the 2 temptations I ran into today - cake and ice cream! And it wasn't like I had to avoid 1 event either. I saw the cake in the break room at work, leftover from some celebration. Man it looked good. I was in there getting ice water, so I just turned my back on the cake and remembered how nice it felt to see the scale go down. Fifteen minutes later, they announced an ice cream social taking place in the parking lot. OMG! What are they trying to do to me?!?!

It was easier to resist both than I thought, so I'm proud of myself!

Yo yo yo!

2009-06-16T22:38:00.003-05:00

Up and down! Up and down! I went on a downward spiral over the weekend, and I'm trying hard to recover now. Nachos supreme and a brownie sundae on Saturday, I don't even remember what on Sunday, and no counting calories yesterday or today. When I don't count I KNOW that I overeat.

I went shopping tonight and picked up more fruit, some 140-calorie granola bars and a few other things, so I should be able to put together enough food tomorrow to take for the day to keep me satisfied at work.

Believe and you can achieve! I CAN DO THIS!!!

Yippee!

2009-06-12T19:10:00.002-05:00

If I didn't mess it up when I got home from work today, I'm headed down again in the weight department.

After my last entry, I got brave one day and weighed on the same scale as I'd used for my weigh-in at work. It was down several pounds!!!! I've been doing exercise nearly every day, and sometimes for a few hours a day when it's gardening & lawn maintenance activities which I really enjoy. I'm sure some of it is not all that strenuous, but it must be doing me some good. The past few nights (but not tonight), I raked rocks out of the area of our garden where we'll be planting more tomato plants. THAT is work! I was really working up a sweat.

The reason I hope I didn't mess it up tonight is that I was starving on the way home from work. I convinced myself not to stop for Chinese food for hubby & me, mostly because I didn't want to spend the money. I considered a grocery store stop for grapes, which are 99c a pound this week, but decided against it because so many other tempting things lurk in the store when you're hungry. So what did I do? Came home and ate many, many saltine crackers with peanut butter & jelly. Yum, but ugh! I'll just have to do better this weekend, and it should be easy enough to do since I have so much to keep me busy!

1185 calories, and not even hungry!

2009-06-09T22:22:00.006-05:00

I tallied my calories for the day, and I've had just 1185. That's quite low for me, but I'm not even hungry. Bedtime is within the next 1/2 hour, I hope.

Not to bore anyone with details, but in case it helps, this is what I've eaten today in about 5-6 small meals.
Breakfast:.1 cup cheerios with 1/2 cup skim milk (150)
...............1/2 pbj sandwich on 45-calorie bread (170)
Snack:.....1 banana (105)
...............1/2 granola bar (70)
Lunch:.....English muffin (130)
...............2 slices 2% cheese wrap (100)
...............1 cup broccoli (31)
...............10 cherry tomatoes (60)
...............1/2 granola bar (70)
Snack:.....1 banana (105)
Dinner:....hamburger patty (170)
...............1 cup cauliflower (24)

Some of the calorie counts came right from the packages, others came from either http://www.nutritiondata.com or http://www.wellness360.com. So, even if I'm off a little here or there, I'm still well within the range that our wellness coordinator at work told me was a good calorie range for losing weight.

I haven't officially weighed since I started counting calories last week, but I know I've been doing good on my calorie counts, and I've been very active. I hope it all shows!

Fantastic day!

2009-06-07T00:27:00.002-05:00

Today was just a gorgeous day, with plenty of sunshine and a nice breeze. Upper 70's, just like I like it. I got a LOT done outside, enjoying the day. It was also a great day in a nutritious way. I stayed under 1300 calories, and ate a lot of fruits and veges. Dinner was the best I've cooked in awhile too, at least in my opinion. Chicken breast cooked in a lemon pepper marinade, with onions on top. Corn on the cob (just 1/2 ear), and sugar snap peas. Nutritious, low-cal, and delicious!!

Tomorrow is supposed to be a little warmer, but nice also. I hope to get some gardening done. Enjoy your weekend!

National President's Challenge

2009-06-04T22:47:00.004-05:00

A busy few weeks have passed. I signed up today for a weight loss challenge at work. In the next 12 weeks, I pledged to lose 15 pounds. If nothing else has kept me motivated, maybe the chance of splitting the prize money will do it. It cost me $10 to join, so if I make my goal, I should at least get that money back.

I also signed up for the National President's Challenge. It's a challenge to get people up and MOVING! All you have to do is be active 5 days a week for 6 out of 7 weeks, and log your activity at http://www.presidentschallenge.org.
It's been an active week for me, with lots of outdoor gardening, walking, lawn mowing, etc. It all counts, so join in!

I haven't been as committed to watching my calories & drinking water lately. Sometimes life just gets in the way. The problem is that I've been using that excuse now FOREVER. I need to figure out how to have life and healthy eating happen at the same time. But, now that I've committed, with a definite goal in mind, and that goal is written down with a fitness coach....NOW is the time!

Little miss muffet

2009-05-23T23:15:00.002-05:00

I've been doing pretty good the last half of this week. I didn't write down my food for today, but did for the other days. I seem to be averaging between 1300 and 1600 calories. Now that's not really "diet" calorie intake, I'm sure, but I am a little active, so I hope to have some visual results soon. I feel better emotionally being in control of things, and better physically because of eating better. I know fruit isn't chocolate, or even anywhere CLOSE to chocolate, but I've been really enjoying my fruit that I take for snacks at work. Sometimes cantaloupe, sometimes oranges, apples, bananas, or even canned peaches (in light syrup).

It doesn seem like I eat all day long though. Breakfast at 6:30, mid-morning snack between 9 & 10, lunch at noon, snack between 2 & 3, sometimes another light snack at 7 and then usually dinner at 9. When I can, I try to cut out the last snack and have dinner right away, but things don't always work out right for that to happen. The trick is to keep each meal around 300-400 calories, and each snack 100 or 150. They say that's better for you, anyhow, but I find it just less depriving when I don't have to go so long between meals.

I weighed in one night earlier in the week, but my scale is so weird that I really can't tell any exact weight. I might get on twice in a row, and if I happen to lean a little bit forward or backward one time, the weight fluctuates by as much as 5 pounds. I thought I'd try it again, and as I walked into the room, I saw a spider scurry toward the scale; hence, the "little miss muffet" reference. I braved it and got on anyhow, and I think it's gone a little in the general direction I want it to, but not enough to say definitely that I've lost any weight. A scale is not important, though; I'm much rather measure the success that I have based on how I feel, how my clothes fit, and how well I'm able to control myself!

Dinner dilemma

2009-05-20T06:42:00.002-05:00

I had a business meeting after work yesterday, and planned so well to have mini-meals & snacks thru the day.
B: cereal & milk = 230
S1: 1/2 pbj = 170
L: chicken = 60, broccoli = 45, 1 c. fruit salad = 120 >> TOTAL 225
S2: banana = 100, crackers = 120 >> TOTAL 220
S3: banana = 100, 1/2 pbj = 170 >> TOTAL 270

Total to here is 1115. Great, I thought. I'll just have one of my WW meals or a small salad and finish around 1375 calories for the day. I stopped at the grocery store to find something for hubby for dinner, but didn't like any of the meat prices. Instead I bought a 4-pack of frozen egg rolls and some Doritos on sale for $1.99. Huge bags!! I figured I'd just have one egg roll.

And then....I fell apart. I wasn't all that starving, but I had a serving of chips while dinner was cooking (150 calories). And then, in addition to the 1 egg roll that I'd planned (170 calories), I also had 2 mozzarella sticks that I cooked (another 130 calories). Ahhhh!!!! :( Instead of 1375, I ended the day at 1565.

Today is another day, though. No business meeting tonight, so I'll come right home after work, throw my chicken in the oven, and be back on track with a healthier dinner!

1340 for today

2009-05-18T22:03:00.006-05:00

I started counting calories again today. I really don't like doing that, but I think it's a necessary evil now. I hope I didn't miss anything in my list, but I was pretty careful to keep my notepad with me all day.

Breakfast: 1 c cereal + 1/2 c skim milk = 230
1/2 pbj on light bread = 170
Snack: 1 banana = 100
18 wheat thin artisan crkrs = 200
Lunch: ww meal = 260
1 c cantaloupe = 60
Snack: 12 wheat thin artisan crkrs = 140
Dinner: 4 oz baked chicken, b/s = 120
2 c broccoli = 60

Some of the calorie counts came from the products themselves and I paid attention to serving sizes too. The cantaloupe count came from http://www.nutritiondata.com.

The Weight Watcher meal was Picante Chicken & Pasta. I found them reduced to $1 at Walmart and had coupons for $1 off 5. I bought a bunch of them (after I brought one home & tried it first). Cheap lunch, and quite tasty. It's very spicy, though, so if you don't like spicy, don't try it!

I also walked at lunch, had 4 glasses of water (that's a record for me!), and planned chicken & broccoli leftovers for tomorrow's lunch.

5 pounds....heavier!

2009-05-14T20:58:00.002-05:00

Well....crap! In the 5+ months since I started this, I've GAINED 5 pounds. Isn't that just dandy. If you've been following, you can tell I'm not real dedicated to this even though I want to lose weight. I just can't seem to follow thru consistently. I got results from cholesterol testing back, and mine is a little high. I guess I'm not real surprised, but now that gives me extra reason to take care of myself a little better. Just not today....

I started off with Crystal Lite orange flavored drink (tasted a little like orange juice, but enough for me) and some cereal. I brought with me to work a pbj sandwich, 2 granola bars, and a WW frozen meal. Not a wonderful collection, as it's all a "little light" (i.e., next to none) on fruits & veges. That lasted me during the day, but when I stopped at the grocery store to pick up milk, I was dumb enough to buy some oreos (because I had a coupon off with milk!). I had some of those on the way home, since hunger was gnawing at me. As if that wasn't bad enough, tonight's dinner was hot dogs, steak fries, and tossed salad with ranch peppercorn dressing! I thoroughly enjoyed it all, but I don't see much on that list for the day that would really fit on any "diet plan", except for the breakfast.

(sigh) Why can't this be easy?!?!?!

I'm my own worst enemy

2009-05-06T22:30:00.002-05:00

After figuring out what I wanted to do to help get things under control in my last entry, I faded away for awhile. I sure am very inconsistent. I've planned my snacks better a few times, but then gone astray many more times. I'm my own worst enemy! A friend just announced that she'd lost 20 pounds over the last several months. The kicker? She didn't even NEED to lose weight, at least not in my opinion. I haven't seen her in a long, long time (out of state) but she's always been roughly the same size & weight in all the years I've known her.

I read all sorts of things about setting big goals and small goals, and focusing on the goal above everything else. It all sounds good in theory, but I have such a hard time getting past the "want-it-now". I've been a little down in the dumps lately too, so that's not exactly inspiring me to do better.

For more thought-provoking ideas, I've read multiple times about strategies for cutting spending that involve just asking yourself a few questions before making a purchase, things like do I need this and do I have anything else that serves the same purpose? Other people say if they want something, they put it back and wait a few days or a week to see if they still want it just as bad. I think the same logic can be applied to bad eating habits. I usually don't NEED to eat, unless it's been hours since a prior meal and I'm feeling a little weak. I should ask myself if I have anything else (i.e., healthier to eat) that serves the same purpose. Or, the best, wait awhile (not days or weeks, but minutes or hours) and see if I still want it. Focus on the goal!!!

Saturday morning

2009-04-25T08:34:00.002-05:00

It's a gorgeous Saturday morning here, and I can't wait to (hopefully) spend most of it at home doing things. Somehow it's much easier to be energized when it's nice outside, even if part of my day will be spent indoors doing laundry, dishes, and general household duties. I need to mow our yard too, but that's not a chore to me. For some odd reason, I love doing it! Weird, yes, but also quite handy. Might as well love something that has to be done!

I can't say I've been doing so great in the dietary department. I've been faithfully taking a lunch to work that includes some type of fruit and an approximate 100-calorie snack for mid-morning. Sometimes that's 1 oz of cheese, sometimes it's a handful of crackers, or sometimes a serving of chex mix or rice cakes. Usually whatever is handy. For lunch, I take a salad, or leftover veges with a little meat, or a sandwich. I then try to take a 2nd fruit for lunch as well. I think I need to start tossing in some mid-afternoon healthy snack, though. I end up craving something sweet every day, and most days cave in on the way home and grab something to "snack on" at the grocery store for the ride home. This is just not good! Often, it's not a piece of fruit or a serving of anything, because I'm also trying to watch the budget and hate to pay 65 cents for a single snack of whatever it is when I know I can get a box or package with multiple servings for just a dollar or two more. So, I end up with granola bars, or chips or something unplanned. My ride home from work is long so I end up mindlessly eating more than one serving. Once I cave in to the temptation, it seems to be shot for the rest of the evening, and I often have some type of dessert after dinner also. I'm my own worst enemy!!!

So, the new plan is to incorporate this need for something mid-afternoon, and start taking it with me. I'm not sure what that will be yet, since I wasn't planning to do any more shopping until next week. If we don't wipe out the stash over this weekend, I think I can come up with enough to help me make it thru the first day or two and I can plan my purchases based on the sale flyers for the rest of the week.

Later....

A nice day for a walk

2009-04-21T22:47:00.002-05:00

I resumed my lunch-time walks again today. Four laps on the track is a mile, so I spent about 20 minutes at lunch and walked my mile. It was beautiful out, and it's just so nice to get away from my desk for a little breath of fresh air. I think I might need new sneakers soon, though. I have some gel inserts, but they still don't feel all that comfortable. And I know it's important to have proper footwear for walking!

It seems like every day there is something that gets in the way of my plans to cut back. I ususally buy light bread, with just 40 calories per slice. The store was out of my usual brand that I get for $1.59, or $1.09 when they have it on clearance (which is normally when I buy it). Other brands were $2.79 or something totally ridiculous, so I bought some regular wheat bread for $2 minus a 55 cent coupon. It's yummy! But each slice is the same number of calories as 2 slices of my light bread. So, theoretically, I should just have a 1/2 sandwich each time. It makes sense, but I haven't been doing it.

Not so much in control

2009-04-19T17:19:00.002-05:00

I'm not having a very good day. Finances are stressing me out, two of my dogs got in a fight, and it's raining. I should be able to suck it all up, but it's not happening today. I tend to fall back to my old ways when I get too stressed out, and my old ways involve mindless eating to relieve the stress. Ugh!

It's getting late in the day, though, so I'll just try to make it thru dinner without doing further damage, go to bed, get up and start tomorrow on a brighter note.

Good blood pressure

2009-04-18T17:01:00.003-05:00

I went to my doctor toward the end of this week, just to check in and refill a prescription. Nothing new, nothing exciting. I swear he was only in the room with my 5 minutes at the absolute most. I must make it too easy for him, with no questions at all. The nurse was in before him for about 10 minutes, so I guess it really will be worth the $125 or whatever they charge. The bad news? I've gained weight since I was there a year ago. The good news? My blood pressure is very good - 102/60. Can't complain about that!

I've had some delicious salads this week, and I got all of them on the reduced rack at the grocery store. One day I found a bag of broccoli coleslaw for 50 cents. They might have been worried it was getting close to past date, but it tastes just fine. I can't really tell the difference between it and regular cabbage coleslaw. They also had a bag of fresh spinach for 99 cents. I was planning to cook that one night, but just a day later at the same store, they had bags of Dole complete Caeser salad mix (lettuce, croutons, dressing, and parmesan cheese) marked down to 99 cents. There were coupons right near them for $1 off, so I bought two of those free. They are still plenty fresh, and I've been having those with the fresh spinach mixed in for lunches and filler for dinner for several days this week. Yum! It makes me feel SOOO healthy when I go up to the checkout and I have all this green leafy stuff! (They probably look at me and wonder where I buy all the junk food that I must eat, because I sure don't look like I just eat salads!)

Walking, walking

2009-04-15T23:18:00.003-05:00

After some lousy weather that got in the way of my walking, I've been able to go the past two days. Yesterday I "hit the track" in between jobs. It was my last day at the 2nd job, at least until next year, so that won't get in the way of my walks anymore either. I had about 45 minutes to spare, so it was nice to take that walk and clear my head during that time.

Today I went out at lunch time. It was just a gorgeous day! Birds chirping, freshly mowed yards, and all that good stuff.

I haven't really been losing pounds in the past few weeks, since I started this up again. I don't know why! I've cut way back on the sweets, except for the last few days (since Easter). I'm trying to ignore the fact that the scale isn't budging, and focusing instead on how I must be replacing fat with muscle since I began my exercising. I mean, c'mon...SOMETHING good must be happening! I do find that the walks give me energy, so that's positive. I finally updated my weight tracker on the sidebar, but unfortunately it's up from where I was last time I tracked it. I didn't reset everything when I started up again. I just left the info like it had been so that I could have that positive reinforcement. But, when I logged on today, it told me it had been 80+ days, and I had to update it. So I did, but it went up a few pounds. Boo hoo!

Post-Easter greetings

2009-04-13T19:12:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. Mine was great! Lots of good food, and I don't think I overate. I did allow myself to eat some of everything, including a wonderful chocolate cake that one of our guests made. But, even with eating that, I didn't feel miserable, like I have at some other holidays.

I had some delicious steamed veges. I don't think anyone else was thrilled with them, but I was! They are Pictsweet Steamables, Oriental Seasoned Asian Vegetables with Sugar Snap Peas. One cup is just 35 calories. Try it, you'll like it! The leftovers went with me for lunch today. I may stop by the grocery store again this week and pick up more bags on sale.

A little spluge

2009-04-10T21:43:00.002-05:00

I splurged a little tonight, and I probably shouldn't have. DH was in the mood for Chinese food, and I wasn't in the mood to cook, so I gave in and picked some up on the way home. Then we had some ready-to-bake cookies, so I stuck those in the oven to finish off the meal. It was all really delicious, but now I am super thirsty! Chinese food always does that to me.

I'm determined to make this just a little blip in the radar though. It's supposed to be nice tomorrow (finally! it's been rainy for 2 days), so I'm planning to get up in the morning and go for my walk first thing. First, that will get it out of the way so I don't get too busy and run out of time, and second, that will hopefully kick start my metabolism for the day. Who knows, if it stays nice and I get the urge later in the day, I might go for a 2nd walk!

I'm working on ideas for Easter dinner. I found a lower-fat recipe for scalloped potatoes, and I'm leaning toward having at least 2 dishes/desserts that are low-cal or healthy. Maybe fruit salad and/or a sugar-free jello whip. The rest will be normal things to please all the guys, but that way I can fill 1/2 my plate with the healthy stuff, and not overeat on the rest.

National Start! Walking Day

2009-04-08T23:40:00.003-05:00

Today was the American Heart Association's National Start! Walking Day. I didn't "start" today, but I continued my progress lately of walking about a mile a day. Sometimes I go at lunch at work, and ironically today, even though they had an event to promote the Start! Walking Day at work, I couldn't go because I had a doctor's appointment. I would have liked to. They probably had some type of incentive for people that showed up too.

Oh well, I didn't need any incentive. I just made sure to go when I got home from work. Me and 4 dogs! We live on back roads without many neighbors, so I don't need to put them on a leash or anything. They stayed with me part of the time, but then took off into the woods after a rabbit. Yesterday, it was deer they were chasing. That was comical. I saw the tails of the deer as they jumped a fence up ahead and went bounding off into the woods. The dogs gave chase, barking and yipping. Well, about 5 minutes later, here come the deer back across the road further ahead of me. A few minutes later, here come the dogs! Of course, they never did catch up.

I'd love to hear if you started walking today...

Fruits and veges

2009-04-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

I shopped so healthy today! Canteloupe, carrots, celery, onions, bananas, skim milk. This is in addition to purchases yesterday of lettuce & tomatoes. I think I'll be having lots of salads! I also might make a batch of stir fry some night with either beef or chicken.

I was hoping for strawberries too, but I missed a great sale on them, so I didn't purchase any. It was just a 3-day sale and I didn't know it. Oh well, the canteloupe is fine by itself too. I thought the strawberries & canteloupe would make a nice fruit salad. I just finished the last of the salad I made last week with canteloupe, grapes and kiwi. Yummy. The canteloupe isn't quite ripe yet, so maybe I'll find some other fruit on sale later this week to add with it. Most of our stores have sales Wednesday to the following Tuesday, so a new ad should be coming out soon.

What will I look like?

2009-04-05T17:02:00.003-05:00

I survived the auction yesterday without buying ANY food from the concession stand. I brought a sandwich and fruit salad and diet cokes, and that's all I ate for lunch. I had an apple later in the day that I'd brought too. I didn't end up going for a walk during the auction, but I did a lot of back & forth walking between the two sales that were in progress. My feet and legs ached by the end of the day, so hopefully the walking back & forth was enough to do me some good!

Here's a neat tool for motivation. It's the Weight Loss Simulator tool by Prevention, so you can see what you'll look like after weight loss. http://www.prevention.com/mvm/main.html Try it! It's pretty neat. Of course, if you're like me, you can just look at pictures of yourself from several years back and see exactly what you'll look like after weight loss...except the face has a much younger appearance in those pictures! LOL

Going once, going twice, sold!

2009-04-04T08:08:00.002-05:00

We are heading to an auction today at one of the local high schools. They have an annual FFA auction, where you just never know what you'll find. There is usually a ton of farm equipment and vehicles, and then just a bunch of you-never-know-what. I would actually rather not go, since I know if we go, we'll spend SOME money, but it's like an annual tradition.

While I head outside to chore this morning, I'll have to think about how to handle the eating part of the day. Usually, I just buy from the cook shack that they have set up - hamburgs, hotdogs, chili, chips, snacks, etc. I think I might try to bring some stuff today instead - sandwiches and fruit salad and drink are all I can really come up with in my head right now. We don't have a lot of other grab-n-go food, since that's usually not a wise diet choice. I may give it more thought though. If I run out of time to pack stuff, there is a McDonalds down the street. I LOVE their grilled chicken ranch salad more so than any hamburger that I've ever gotten at McD's. So, I have that as one option. There is also a grocery store just a mile or so away. I could always go there for other healthier choices. Just saying that gave me a brainstorm. I do sometimes get bored at the auction, even though they generally have 2 auctioneers set up at once in different areas. I could always go for my walk to either the grocery store or McDs. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, so I just might do that!

This is not an April fool's joke

2009-04-03T22:48:00.002-05:00

Ok, I fell off the wagon there for awhile, and I think I must have gotten run over by it too. Not that I'm any flatter, just fatter. Ugh, ugh, ugh. But, I am back, and it came about in a strange way.

I was watching Wife Swap last week, and one of the couples were very into visualizing their success. They were maybe a little overboard with it, as is everyone on that show of course, but something about it struck a chord with me. It's the whole "secret" theme, power of positive thinking, etc. etc. Something clicked, and I thought to myself, I CAN do this. So, on April 1st, I started to change things. I've been walking both at lunch at after work several times this week. I looked at my normal breakfast, and trimmed it back a bit. I've started paying attention to calories and reading tips and hints to give me a new perspective on eating healthier.

Then, last night, Suze Orman was on Oprah, and she was insisting that people need to quit looking over their shoulder (to what they used to have) while they are trying to move forward. Of course, her advice was for finances, but it seems like great advice for losing weight. I have to quit thinking about where I was just a few years ago, several pounds lighter, and focus on how to move forward.

So, my new motto is: eyes on the prize! I need to visualize myself as a success, and focus on the end goal.

Crash and burn?!

2009-02-10T20:26:00.003-06:00

Alas, my focus for the past week has not been on controlling my hand-in-mouth disease. I know I've been eating with abandon, and I know it's due to worry and stress over finances and the lack of a full-time job. Well, hopefully, that's been remedied today. I have a job offer, and I've accepted it, so maybe there is one less thing to stress me out.

I will be in an office with other people, and I tend to be more conscious of my eating around others, so they don't get a bad opinion of me based on my eating habits. Is that weird? Do other people do that too? (I always wonder what I would be like if I were rich and famous and had papparazzi following me around -did you SEE what she was eating?!?!) So, hopefully, I will get back on track again shortly. But, tonight we are having a celebration!!

Where have I been?

2009-02-03T07:26:00.002-06:00

I have been soooooo busy lately I haven't had time to check in. Unfortunately, that also means that I haven't been focusing on planning meals for nutrition and balance. I'm kind of in a rut weight-wise, but I have not abandoned plans. It's just a disappointing end to January, as there hasn't been any more improvement on the scale.

February will be better!!!

Crazy schedule

2009-01-27T15:35:00.002-06:00

I missed taking my lunch break at work again yesterday. It was busy! I started at 9 and was supposed to leave at 5, but I made some appointments later in the day and then had some walk-in clients so everybody ended up late. This time, I didn't forget to eat. I just didn't have time to eat!

So, lunch turned into dinner. I had brought a salad and I scarfed it down in the car in the parking lot while I was waiting for my car to heat up.

Of course, today I was expecting that since I hadn't weighed in a few days, the scale would be nice to me. But no! Maybe it's waiting to surprise me.

Another one bites the dust!

2009-01-24T09:32:00.002-06:00

I'm down another pound. Woohoo!!! It's been slow going, but I haven't been starving myself or anything, so that's ok with me. Yesterday was another busy day at work. I worked 7 hours and was told when I started that if I worked anything over 6 hours, I had to clock out for 1/2 hour for a break. I honestly forgot. Me, forget to eat? Never!! But I did. The boss chastized me later for not taking my break when I was just "goofing around" on the computer. I wanted to say "Excuse me! I'm new here and I was looking at courses the company offers to improve my education plus making up scenarios to enter in the computer to understand how the system works better!!! How dare you say I was goofing around?!" Instead I just apologized and told her I hadn't even thought about it, and it didn't feel like I'd been there 7 hours already, which was the truth. It sounded a whole lot better than challenging her, and the day really had flown by.

I wasn't hungry during that 7 hours since I'd eaten before work, but I chomped on an apple on the way home, and got home about 9:30pm. Well, surprise, surprise, one of our dog had puppies!! Now, of course, the puppies weren't a surprise, but her having them that day and during the day was. So, I had to go to see them all and sit with her in case she had more. Another family member had been with her for hours helping as needed, so I relieved him of midwife duties. I grabbed a Chex Mix bar (very yummy!) and ate that while I hung out with her. Nothing was happening so I took a break and ate dinner, at 11:30pm. Talk about crazy schedule! At midnight, I went back and sat with her for 2 more hours. She did have one more during that time, but the poor thing was stillborn. I dropped into bed, exhausted, got up in 4 hours to check on her again, went back to bed, and just got back from checking on her this morning.

She has 9 puppies! Adorable!! I hope they all make it, but I kind of doubt they will. She's thin from putting all her energy into the pups, and this is her first litter. We'll just try to work with them all and make sure they get to eat as much as possible. Plus, this is a big breed, and they sometimes unknowingly lay on the pups and end up suffocating them. Let's hope that doesn't happen!

Too busy to eat!

2009-01-21T08:45:00.002-06:00

I don't think I remember being too busy to eat in a long, long time. Yesterday I worked at my part time job from 11-4. I ate breakfast, did a few things around the house and left by 9 to run errands before work. I threw an apple and granola bars in my tote bag for a quickie lunch at work. The first two hours I didn't have any clients, so I just worked on case studies. But then someone came in and I helped them. It took about 30 minutes. He left and someone else was right there waiting for me. It took me an hour to help him. As soon as he left, there was another client for me. She stayed right up until almost 4pm, but had to run home for additional paperwork and didn't come back for another 1/2 hour so I stayed until after 5 with her. It wasn't until I got back in the car to head home that I realized I'd never eaten!! I scarfed down the apple & granola bars while I ran a few more errands on the way home. Unfortunately, when I got home, I snacked on more crackers and then made dinner even though I really and truly wasn't all that hungry. Hubby had been snacking too, so he wasn't really hungry either. I'm not sure why I bothered other than it was "time" to eat. Silly of me!

Nothing to report

2009-01-18T21:12:00.004-06:00

I have nothing to report today. It was a nice day, in the mid-40's. I spent some time outside, did some quick shopping, and did some office organization. It kept me busy, but alas, not totally in control of food. So, nothing good or bad really to report.

I'm eating too much pbj lately, and know I'd better slack off again. I just had a sandwich for my "dessert" after dinner, which was a burrito. Ugh. They don't even GO together! Well, tomorrow is a new day, so I'll focus on a better food plan for starting the week.

Down 1 more

2009-01-17T11:04:00.002-06:00

I've dropped another pound, so that makes 5 total. Exciting!

I keep trying to hold off buying any more jeans because once I get down another 10-15 pounds I have one or two more pairs of jeans I can wear. Then, when I drop even more, I think I have another 3 or 4 pairs to wear. I'm just not sure how much longer I can hold out without buying some. Right now, I'm wearing jeans I bought at a yard sale last summer. They fit okay, but I ripped them one day when the loop at the back (carpenter jeans) caught on something. I've been wearing them anyhow, just not in public unless I have a long jacket to cover them. Well, today I thought about patching them, only to discover the inseam and fabric is wearing out. They'll be ready for the trash VERY soon. So, the race is on....can I lose weight fast enough to get into the jeans I already have, or do I break down and buy a new pair?! Maybe I'll hit a few thrift stores next week. I don't mind paying $1 - $2 for another pair, but I don't want to spend $15-$20 right now!

Back down again to where I was

2009-01-15T09:55:00.002-06:00

I got back down to where I was before I went "off the wagon", meaning I lost those same 2 pounds again. Whew! Glad that's done. It must have been the stall cleaning that worked my butt off! LOL. Now it's all progress from here on out.

I'm still controlling my diet coke intake. I've had some diet sodas off & on, but I would estimate I've cut back at least 75-80%.

There was an article in our newspaper this week about reading food labels. I thought I would learn something I didn't know from it already, but all it really said was to make sure to pay attention to the servings per container and make sure that you are properly calculating the calories by multiplying the servings by the number of calories per serving if you consume the whole container. Watch out for bad fats, like partially hydrogenated or trans fats. Watch sodium content, whether or not you are on a low-sodium diet. Canned soups can be horrible for that. I do read some labels but probably should pay more attention to them.

Focused on wrapping up 2008

2009-01-13T08:46:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, I focused on wrapping up 2008 finances. I didn't get so far as getting ready for taxes, but I updated checkbooks, Microsoft Money, and a few spreadsheets I keep for tracking ebay sales, coupon savings, and rebates. It kept me busy for hours! I noticed I wasn't as interested in snacking either. I had too much to do!

With any luck, today will be just as productive and distracting. I have to clean some stalls in the barn. Now THAT is unappetizing as well as being productive and distracting!! I should have switched days, though, and done the computer work today when it's only going to be in the 20's and the stalls yesterday when it hit 51 degrees. Oh well. It will be a good arm workout anyhow, and I doubt I'll be still long enough to feel the cold.

I think I should start noting any exercise I do too. I spent an hour outside feeding our horses, which is a lot of lifting and bending and walking yesterday. Later I helped unload a truckload of wood. Today, I'll be doing the same with the horses, and then working on the stalls. It should definitely keep me out of trouble!

Starting over.....I BLEW IT!

2009-01-12T09:06:00.002-06:00

How frustrating can this be? My inability to control myself caused me to backslide by 2 pounds. I had lost 4 and already gained 2 back. Frustrating, annoying, embarrassing, you name it, that's how I feel. I can blame it on the goodies all over the house, the stress of the death in the family, the stress of a job interview, and all those things that happened since the first of the year.

So, today, I am starting over. "If at first you don't succeed...", and all that. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!! I know I can, if I just focus on it. Or maybe I need to not focus on it. I can't really decide what works better. I just know that I have loads of stuff to keep me busy so I shouldn't be thinking about food except when I get hungry. (It might be a first for me, but other people do it, why can't I?!)

Evenings are difficult for me

2009-01-10T09:44:00.003-06:00

For some reason, I can maintain control all day, and then it falls apart in the evening. Of course, the kitchen is still filled with baked goodies from the funeral, and sweets are my downfall, so they sit there calling my name! If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.... I'll try to do better today.

In good news, I have not had to buy jelly yet. Why is that good, you ask? Because it means I haven't been wolfing down PBJ sandwiches as much! Some people think that's only to eat when there is nothing left "good" to eat. To me, they are wonderful, so I eat them whenever. Sometimes, two or even three a day. Since I've cut back significantly, and only allow one or maybe none each day, the jelly and peanut butter are lasting longer. Easier on the budget and easier on the waistline!

No more diet coke!

2009-01-08T10:11:00.004-06:00

One of the changes I've made is to try to cut out diet soda, mostly my diet coke addiction. I can honestly say that I've had NO diet coke this past week, and just a glass or two of diet root beer. I think in the long run it will be better for me, since I sure don't think all that carbonation can really be healthy for a person.

Do I feel better? Maybe a little. Do I miss it? Only a little! I guess even last year I was trying to work up to this a little, trying to drink other things than diet coke, just to see if it was the coke taste I was craving or just drinking it out of habit. I still was drinking a lot of diet sodas, and it really was just a habit. I've been drinking more water (yeah, me!), crystal light, and tea. It's really not too bad. I drink milk at least once a day, usually with a meal, but in between I'm sticking to the other drinks.

I think I will allow myself to drink the diet coke once in awhile, but I've got to keep it to a minimum. It really got out of hand for awhile, and it gets expensive to buy all those bottles or cans. Plus, then I have to gather them all back up for recycling.

As for my weigh-in this morning, there wasn't any new progress in any direction. I'll hit the scales again on the weekend, and steer clear of the goodies in the meantime. Maybe I'll get it to budge another pound. Wish me luck!!

Ugh!

2009-01-07T20:59:00.003-06:00

There is SO MUCH food in this house - delicious, fattening food. Scalloped potatoes, baked macaroni & cheese, fried chicken, potato salad, brownies, german chocolate cake, cookies, pineapple cake, and on and on and on. I think the healthiest thing is jello & fruit salad, but I'm sure it's not sugar-free jello and the fruit was probably canned in heavy syrup. This is all leftovers from a pre-funeral luncheon that somehow ended up at our house. We've had help eating some of it, but not nearly enough help. I've been trying to be careful, but it's so hard to do!

I did fine today during the day. I had a job outside the house. I took a reasonably healthy lunch and that was it. But somehow by the time I got home the willpower had dwindled away. I don't think I went overboard, but I did have a few sweets.

I might do a weigh-in tomorrow morning just to see if anything has changed. Whether it goes up or down or stays the same shouldn't matter at this point since it's so early in the game. I'll just do my best to get back on track and keep going!!

Sitting around the house

2009-01-04T15:31:00.004-06:00

Today is the first day since I started this blog that I have not been busy, busy, busy. I've either been working, at the hospital, interviewing, or in training. Now, this shouldn't be much different from when I was working, because I was working from home, but today I'm having a little harder time controlling and focusing. It must be the weekend, or maybe coming up on "that time of the month." Sorry if that's TMI (too much information), but there are absolute definite times of the month that I cannot seem to control my hand-in-mouth problem.

It's not been horrible. Breakfast was a nectarine and 2 lite pieces of toast with a dab of cream cheese and jelly. Yes, cream cheese and jelly are not "diet" foods, but a balanced diet does supposedly include a little bit of fat to keep you feeling full longer. Mid-morning I had a banana. For lunch, I had chicken noodle soup (the whole can!), plus 2 slices of whole grain bread, one with a slice of provolone, and one with some PBJ. All of that would have been ok, I think, except that then I was craving this dessert thing that someone dropped off. It's kind of like a mousse. I allowed myself a few spoonfuls and that was it. Maybe it wasn't all that bad, since I did use control. After all, I could have had a huge dish of it!

Missed a few days

2009-01-03T09:03:00.002-06:00

I missed a few entries, but have not abandoned anything. My dear MIL passed away January 1, so it was NOT the great start to the new year that I'd been hoping for. I would usually have used excuses in a situation like that to "start the diet" next week, but I'm trying hard not to think of it as a diet that starts & stops. I want it to be an ongoing method of focusing on what I eat, why I eat, where I eat, etc so that I can control it better. I'm proud to say I've done okay these past few days!

The day we spent at the hospital with MIL, I chose wisely in the cafeteria - a sandwich wrap with grilled chicken, mustard, and lots of low-cal veges for one meal, and then later a tossed salad with light dressing and a banana. Both were very good!

Yesterday between an interview for one job and going to another job, I was very hungry. Instead of fast-fooding it, I stopped at the grocery store and snagged some sliced ham, an apple, and green tea. I did falter a little last night. People had stopped by our house with tons of food, but I tried to be reasonable with that too.

Through it all, I managed to drop another 2 pounds, so I updated the ticker on the side. Go me!

Actually excited

2008-12-31T10:48:00.002-06:00

I'm actually getting excited about this project! (I know, ask me in a week how well I like it, once reality sets in.) I always have this wonderful anticipation about the new year beginning, and this year is no different. I new chapter of my life is truly beginning with 2009. My job that I've held for 10+ years has been ripped out from under me. I'm mad and sad about that all at the same time. I'm trying to listen to all the old adages - things happen for a reason, better days are coming, it might be the best thing that happened to you, etc, etc.

With this goal to gain control over my eating, I have something positive to focus on. I KNOW I can do it!!

A tiny bit of progress!

2008-12-30T08:01:00.002-06:00

It's a small start, but I'm down two pounds, without really trying to do much. Even after eating extras like I described yesterday. Of course, that makes me wonder how accurate my scale really is. It's pretty old and sorry looking, but I'm trying not to be too focused on the number. I'll be able to tell a lot more by how I feel, or how my clothes fit, as I lose more. So, yippee!

Paying attention

2008-12-29T10:17:00.004-06:00

I haven't actually changed anything yet, just trying to make myself more aware of why & when I eat. For example, yesterday afternoon I was headed to the hospital to visit a family member. It's roughly an hour drive, and I was tired, so tired in fact I caught myself drifting into the next lane on the highway! Fortunately, I didn't cross over the lane marking because there was a car in the next lane and I would have for sure sideswiped them if I didn't come out of my stupor in time. Scary! There was a McDonalds up ahead, so I got off the exit and went into McD's. For whatever reason, I came out with not just the 42oz diet coke to "wake me up", but also a hot fudge sundae. I wasn't hungry, but I think it was comfort food because I was a little shook up.

On the way home from the hospital, I was a little hungry. The family member has cancer (just diagnosed) and naturally I was upset. I was stopping at Walgreens for some sale items, and their Christmas stuff was 75% off. I came away with two chocolate eggs for 12c each. That's not huge, and I was proud that I controlled the purchase to just a snack for the way home and not an entire box of candy. But, could I have survived without it? Sure. I still had the diet coke left from the trip and I'm sure I would have arrived home without starving. Again, I think it was comfort food.

I came home and fixed a frozen pizza for hubby & me, one of those Red Baron frozen ones to which we add cheese. One piece, two pieces, three pieces, four pieces later I was done. Four pieces of pizza! Holy cow! Even hubby only ate two, but that's because he wasn't feeling good. Usually each of us eats four. Why? Who knows, just habit I guess.

This morning for breakfast I had my crystal light drink, cereal with banana & milk, and then a pbj sandwich. (Those are also my downfall). Now, I realize that's a pretty good sized breakfast, and I could certainly cut out the sandwich, or have just a half, or have it later for a snack. But, was that it?! No, within an hour, I opened the fridge to get a drink, and saw the leftover two slices of pizza. I sure wasn't hungry anymore, but I grabbed one and scarfed it down anyhow. See, no control whatsoever!

These are the behaviors I need to change, and I'm brainstorming ways to prevent this going forward. I've been working from home for the past several years, but will not have that job after the 1st. I think that might actually help me in the food department. First, we have to cut down our grocery bill. Second, it's just too easy to wander back & forth from the desk to the kitchen all day long. I'll be working some outside the house, and I will definitely NOT eat this much in front of other people. Plus, not being tied to a desk when I am home could be a plus. I have so many other projects to do that involve being up and moving around the house.

Wow, this sure is a long entry. I guess I have been paying a lot of attention.

Begin at the Beginning

2008-12-28T10:20:00.003-06:00

I plan to officially start this journey to lose weight on January 1, 2009. I know, I know, it looks like yet another new year's resolution that millions of other people make. But I am determined to win! And, since losing is winning, I'm determined to lose too! See, I can't possibly fail.

For the next few days, I'll be working to mentally prepare for this as I do grocery shopping. I don't live within walking or even short driving distance of any stores, so if I don't have forbidden foods on hand, I can't mindlessly binge on them. Cookies and other sweets are my downfall. I also have a heavy diet coke habit to break. Then, there is this grazing thing of nibbling off and on all day long. And there is always the habit of having dessert after dinner, and sometimes lunch, and sometimes even breakfast. Who the heck has dessert after breakfast?! Why, me, of course.

So you see, there is a lot to gain control over.